Early Morning
It was an early morning for me on a Sunday. 5:30 and my brain woke me up. It does that sometimes. When it happens at night, it is the most bothersome. 10:00 pm, 10:30 pm, it’s time for bed. But, no, my brain decides to create another “to-do list” and a “how to list.” I am grateful the brain still works.
I love the brain. Wish I had “thought” about that many, many years ago. Here we are now.
Lost and Found
You ever walk into a room and forget why you did so? Yeah, me too. This morning I walked around my living spaces to collect the scattered paperwork and re-organize. I’ve got notebooks where I’ve started a writing project, a notebook for a continuous 30-minute sessions, a scratch notebook for jotting down notes, a notebook that I started using for a “weekly” to-do list (that I take off the calendar on the kitchen wall and from my e-brain, the phone). I write many things down on paper.
As I gathered one of my scratch notebooks, I thumbed through the pages to see if I need any of its contents. I came across a couple of recipes that I can toss because of the easy access to them online. I came across scribbled notes about politics, psychology, American history, media, a Christmas names/gift exchange list from 2021, and even a word that I needed to look up its definition (pejorative).
Thought Revisited
I also came across some notes I had written in pencil that read:
“You don’t have the same fear as I do. Therefore, your interpretation and reliability of my emotion (mammalian) cannot be equal. You think I am cursing you, but in reality, I am doing my inner best to pound down that fear.”
(unknown)
“A Hand is Given, Not the Body. The body, mind, and spirit is left to heal on its own.”
(unknown)
“Run, Crawl, Walk.” And “Ruth Cohn. Women, Developmental Trauma, Child Abuse, Neglect.”
(unknown)
Wow! The feeling I got when I revisited these notes. I wondered for a moment if I wrote the part about “fear.” Those set of words are so real to me at times. Fears may cause a person to fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. I sure did not understand all that in my early years of living. I sure would like to give credit to whomever wrote those profound 3 sentences.
Before I tore the page out and crumbled it up to toss it into the trash, I wanted to jot down my thoughts on what I found while cleaning up paperwork. It’s almost 8:00 am. My “me time” is dwindling.
Take Good Care